i hate this feeling that i'm having.
why do i feel so.
i wish there could be someone i could talk to.
not you or you.
but someone, an outsider who would definitely understand.
this is the period for having fun and parteeing.
& i will do just that.
but deep inside, its stil hurting.
confused and perplexed.
on the outside; so happy and jovile.
inside, crushed.
haven't felt like this before.
crushed like a huge wave just slamed on me.
& yet, there are other things i can look forward to.
the love that i have, ever new and improving.
but yet, need is different from want.
i want something else. something new.
what i need is getting old, simmering away.
why is fickle behaving like my best friend?
i wish it would go away and just leave me alone.
let me be devoted and loving.
but i'm not.
& this is me.
