i feel like blogging. i got so many things i want to say but i can't put in words. i don't know how to phrase it. i'm so pissed. and upset.i just feel like crying. although i dunno for what.
REALLY. its a complex matter. i don't even know how to blog it out. and i'm not gonna use a anecdote either because it would just seem obvious. i just feel pissed at myself. and annoyed at my behaviour. annoyed that i did what i did. and annoyed that i'm so unreasonable. on the other hand. i'm pissed that i degraded myself to apologise and beg. i begged? in a way i guess. i sounded like i was begging. everytime i type these kinda 'begging' msgs. i just feel damn crap bout myself. i don't even get replies that respond correctly to my begging. i really dunno what am i doing. i just need this back. i just wan to be happy. i wan everyone to be happy. but everyone can't be happy can they? guess not.
everything now is so complex. this thing that iwant. its not even mine. and i know its not everlasting. but i still want it anyway. never really wondered whether this thing really wans me. haha.i'm so silly. i guess its bout time i realised tt i should stop being silly. yup.
hurting you is all i ever did. don't be pissed anymore. i wont't hurt you ever again.
